From Recovery to Abuse: Part I

I was contacted by a young woman named Christina after I posted about Matt Tonne and the situation (cover-up) over at The Village Church concerning that sexual abuse case, which is now a pending lawsuit. Christina had brief contact with Matt at the UNT Counseling Center when he attended one of her training sessions as a TVC staff member, but that wasn’t why she was contacting me. She wanted to share about her abusive experience at The Village Church and with Lore Ferguson. Today I am sharing her story.

Christina started attending The Village Church in 2009, following the end of a relationship. Since she and her ex-boyfriend attended the same church, she decided to leave that church and go to TVC, where she started attending Celebrate Recovery at the Denton campus. She acquired a mentor in Celebrate Recovery and got involved in a ‘D’ (discipleship) group, which was led by Tara Leigh Cobble, who happened to be a friend of Matt & Lauren Chandler. (connections are important)

In the context of these recovery groups, accountability & confession are the core values that are required for those who attend. In addition to Celebrate Recovery, which encompasses a wide range of addictions/behavior issues, TVC also offers a more intense program called STEPS, which Christina attended in 2011. She was given a spreadsheet where she was told to list her GUILT & SHAME, her FEARS, her SEXUAL HISTORY and any kind of ABUSE she experienced. While in STEPS you are required to have a mentor with whom you meet & share all of this personal information. Once you have completed the ‘inventory list’, the mentor decides who is ‘safe’ to contact so that you can make amends with them. She kept a copy of this spreadsheet and forwarded to me. While on the surface it seems like a great way to unload all of your past hurts and sins in a therapeutic way, in reality it is a way for TVC to have a nice little record of all your deeds, family history, etc, in order to control you in the event that you don’t follow all the rules and find yourself under church discipline. What’s shared in these groups is not privileged information folks. If you fill out something like this and turn it unto your group leader or mentor, they are under no obligation to protect this information or keep it confidential.

Here is the Inventory Spreadsheet from the TVC STEPS program that Christina provided to me:

 

As you can see, the information request on this ‘self inventory’ is quite invasive. I would have never felt comfortable providing this type of private information in a small group setting, to a mentor, or to anyone that didn’t hold a professional counselor’s license with the state of Texas.

Christina said that there were many times something she shared in those groups was used to shame her into compliance. She was even told on one occasion that she wasn’t ‘confessing’ enough. Sounds a lot like Scientology to me.

After speaking to another young woman about her experience in the recovery groups (which will be part II) it is clear to me that The Village Church uses these recovery groups to pull in young people, tell them they are broken and need healing, then take control of their lives. 

roommates

TVC puts a heavy emphasis on accountability in the recovery groups, especially for singles, which for them is encouraged in the form of living with roommates. Christina told me that, “TVC regularly tells singles they should have roommates to avoid sexual temptation and have accountability.”  Christina was friends with another young woman who owned a home and frequently took in roommates.

In 2013, Christina was encouraged by her CR mentor to find a roommate to live with. She had attended ‘D’ Group a few times with another young woman named Lore Ferguson. Christina read on Lore’s blog that she was looking for a roommate, so Christina contacted her and found out that Lore was looking for someone to share a house with her and another young woman named Jess, that Lore was already friends with, from when she had lived in New York. But see, Lore Ferguson wasn’t just some girl in a random ‘D’ Group who attended another campus (Flower Mound), AND, it wasn’t just any house they would be living in – it was a house co-owned by Matt & Lauren Chandler & Lauren’s parents.

When Christina told her friends about her new roommate they exclaimed….

“YOU’RE moving in with Lore Ferguson?!”

Who is Lore Ferguson?

Lore Ferguson

Lore Ferguson (now Wilbert) bounced on the TVC radar rather quickly around 2010. According to her video testimony, she was working for a church in the northeast & had a faith crisis, realizing that she was not, in fact, a true Christian. Her boss (the pastor) gave her a book to read and she also listened to a sermon by Matt Chandler. This sermon was so powerful that it prompted her to quit her job, pack up her life into her car and move to North Texas. She landed in a bible study at TVC taught by Jen Wilkin and the rest is history. She experienced some unexplained meteoric rise in the Christian writing community (quite unexplained actually, for a new believer) and now has a popular blog, Sayable.  She also writes for The Gospel Coalition, Christianity Today and others, and her content is also featured on The Village Church website. Her biggest fan seems to be Matt Chandler, who has been quoted as saying about Lore, “….a brilliant writer, a godly woman… 

Chandler has also written the forward to her upcoming book, ‘Handle With Care: How Jesus Redeems the Power of Touch in Life and Ministry‘, due out in early 2020.

I did a small amount of research on her and I just didn’t GET it. She was a complete unknown prior to her arrival at TVC, then suddenly she’s everywhere. Back in 2015, someone else didn’t get it either, according to this comment on a Wartburg Watch blog:

It is important to understand who Lore Ferguson is and how she relates to this story, since she is a very high profile figure in reformed circles and is very well-known and highly revered at The Village Church. It is completely unknown to me how made her way to the inner circle of the Chandler’s and other pastors/elders at TVC.

The adventure begins

After Christina signed the lease and before moving in, she discovered Lore was engaged. When she signed the lease, Lore wasn’t even dating anyone. Instead of personally notifying her future roommates of her change in relationship status, Lore announced her engagement on social media. Obviously concerned, Christina questioned Lore about the future of their living arrangement, to which Lore never offered an answer. Reluctantly, Christina went ahead with the arrangement and moved in with Lore and Jess. 

As luck would have it, Lore’s engagement didn’t last long. She confessed to Christina that she didn’t have feelings for her fiance’ and would not be going through with the marriage. Lore’s way of breaking it off was to go to the TVC elders and pastors and tell them that her fiance’ was making her an ‘idol’ in his life, which resulted in him being required to attend Christian counseling & recovery groups at TVC. This, of course, led to the ultimate demise of the relationship. This poor guy dodged a bullet, in my opinion. 

 

gospel-y

I’ve discovered that in reformed-speak, they throw the word ‘Gospel’ around like a hot potato. It can be used as a noun, adjective or verb, in whichever form makes you look holier or can be used to shame or condemn someone.  

During the time that Christina lived with Lore, the issue of house rules came up quite often, and for some reason Lore appointed herself ‘chief roommate’ and set those rules with a steady dose of ‘gospel-y’ added in. Since Lore was a freelance writer, she did not have set working hours and had guests over late at night. Christina asked her to not have guests over late, because she had to get up early for work in the mornings, to which Lore replied,

We don’t have rules in this house. That is the opposite of the Gospel.” 

When Christina asked to be included in outings or even group gatherings inside they home they shared, Lore’s response was,

“you have a heart issue…you don’t believe the Gospel enough, otherwise you wouldn’t feel left out..”

When Christina asked Lore why some of her personal belongings were suddenly missing or broken, Lore’s response was,

“You have a heart issue. If your heart wasn’t so tied to material things you could be free in Christ to not care so much about your stuff….” (BTW on at least one occasion Lore broke an item and refused to acknowledge that it even happened)

 

This makes me think of a tweet I saw recently….

"money, money, money, money.... money! (and favors)

While an obvious benefit to living with roommates is the financial aspect of sharing expenses, TVC encourages singles to cohabitate in order to avoid loneliness, battle sexual temptation by way of accountability, and to have a sense of ‘Gospel’ community – but somehow it always comes back to money.

Christina told me that she was given the master bedroom in the house, which came with a $200 higher rent than Lore & Jess, who opted to share a bedroom, in order to save money.

Instead of doing the ‘Gospel-y’ thing of actually, you know, paying for your own internet access, Lore instead decided to use (steal) the neighbor’s internet access.

In another attempt to save money, Lore made an executive decision and invited another roommate to move in – Tracy. Tracy had moved out from another TVC ‘roommate’ living arrangement, where one of those roommates was under church discipline. Lore somehow got involved and invited Tracy to move in with her, Christina & Jess.

Special treatment

Lore had some special requirements, like expensive coffee, organic dish soap, rides to pick up furniture or to/from the airport or anything she asked. On one occasion Lore asked Christina to take her to pick up a piece of furniture, knowing that Christina had a birthday party to attend. Annoyed, she broke something in the living room, then denied doing it. Then later one of Christina’s decorative items was missing, and when she questioned Lore about it, Lore replied that Christina was making an ‘idol‘ out of ‘things‘ and if her heart wasn’t tied to material stuff, she wouldn’t be so upset about her lost item.

REMEMBER – Lore Ferguson is very well connected at TVC and is personal friends with Matt & Lauren Chandler. All of this behavior is taking place in the house they own, by someone they hold in very high regard.

the beginning of the end

By March of 2014, things were in a steady decline in the house that Christina shared with Lore Ferguson, Jess & now Tracy. After many repeated attempts to make the living situation work, it all came to head one evening between Christina & Tracy. They had a spat in the bathroom over something as simple as…contact lens solution. Tracy called her a bitch and Christina had had enough. She packed her bags and stayed the night in a hotel room.

The next day she called her home group leader to tell her what had happened. She had been confiding in her home group leader for months about the struggles she was having while living with Lore and Jess, and Christina felt like she empathized with her situation. Her home group leader even offered to let her stay at her house for a few days. After things cooled down, Christina arranged for her home group leader, Tracy & Lore to meet so that Christina could apologize to Tracy. Christina said from that point on, her home group leader started to distance herself from her, which she suspected was because of Lore’s influence and connection to the Chandler’s.

The day after that meeting, Lore (whose bedroom was across the hall from Christina’s) sent her an email, calling her a snake and a gossip because she confided in her home group leader about what had happened. Not only did Lore send that email to Christina, she copied her home group leader on it and showed it to multiple people. Lore then instituted a list of ‘rules’ for Christina to follow (supposedly as a form of punishment) in order for her to remain living in the house (even though she was legally entitled to live there just as much as Lore or Jess), which included:

*Attend church every Sunday with Lore, Jess & Tracy

*Be more involved as a roommate

*Start attending the STEPS program

*Go to biblical counseling

*Stop complaining about people coming over to the house and staying late

Christina moved out.

the fall out

During the time Christina lived with Lore & Jess, she had changed jobs. This was due in part to a sermon that Matt Chandler preached where he mentioned how serious TVC was about child abuse. He was friends with the director of the Children’s Advocacy Center of Denton County and TVC partners with that organization. That inspired Christina to leave her job at UNT and apply for the position of community outreach coordinator, which she accepted in early 2014. Coincidentally, she began to have ‘problems’ at work after the conflict with Tracy and Lore and her eventual move from the house. Shortly thereafter she was let go from that position.

Christina had also began dating a friend of Lore’s ex-fiancee. When he found out about the conflict with Lore & Tracy and that Christina had moved out of the house, he broke off the relationship. He told Christina that “she didn’t seem ready to date and had too many personal issues because of how she handled the roommate situation.

After moving out, Christina made several attempts to contact Lore and arrange a meeting. Lore told Christina that “she was scared of her and didn’t think it was a good idea to meet.”

While Christina can’t say for sure that she lost her job and relationship due to Lore Ferguson, it’s not a stretch to see that Lore’s influence (and by extension, the Chandler’s) might have played a part in those outcomes. Never underestimate the power of connections.

a faith destroyed

Because of her experience with the recovery group, her home group leader, and Lore Ferguson, Christina feels like her faith is non-existent. I can understand after the abuse she endured. The emotional turmoil that she went through in a spiritual setting is soul-crushing.  It destroys your faith and your ability to trust in people, and to trust the church. All of her friends from TVC abandoned her and cut off contact. Christina never became a member at The Village Church, but did attend some membership meetings, where she said at least an hour of one of those meetings was devoted to a PowerPoint presentation of people going through church discipline.

In spite of all that she went through, Christina made several attempts to reach out to Lore in an effort to reconcile. In 2015 Lore moved to Denver to work at Park Church. Christina was living in Denver at the time, so she contacted Lore multiple times to arrange a meeting. Instead of just simply responding to Christina’s email, Lore forwarded the email to a church elder at Park Church, who reached out to Christina to arrange a meeting between the THREE of them. Lore & the church elder cancelled at the last minute, so the meeting never took place.  It was the last time Christina attempted to meet with Lore.

After Lore moved back to Dallas and began attending TVC again, Christina decided to comment on one of Lore’s blog posts. That prompted an email response from Lore in the form of a scolding, then she promptly blocked Christina on social media. So much for gospel-reconciliation, huh?

I believe that Christina suffered emotional and spiritual abuse at The Village Church and by Lore Ferguson. She is now in a place where she questions her faith in God, can’t attend church, and even when attempting to reconcile with those who hurt HER, is turned away. How is this godly, gospel-centered conduct? 

"Abuse of any type occurs when someone has power over another, and uses that power to hurt..."

Ken Blue - 'Healing Spiritual Abuse'

like Dr. Phil says, there are two sides to every pancake...and both of them are flat.

Today I’ve told Christina’s story, in her words. I realize, however, that there are two sides to a story, and if Lore Ferguson wants to tell hers, I invite her to do so. She is free to contact me and I would be happy to write a post with her version as well. 

But I don’t think she will.

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Fobs
Fobs
4 years ago

I see from her Insta that Lore is moving. I find that interesting for some reason. And Tara Leigh lists an Anglican Church on her website. Not sure if any of this has connections, could just be coincidental.

This “recovery” program is a hard no from me. Too controlling and dangerous.

Christina
Christina
3 years ago
Reply to  Fobs

Yes, Lore claims to be Anglican now. She also perpetually plays the victim and is a classic narcissist. It has come to my attention that she recently posted on social media that she has “been the target of a smear campaign and stalking” for six years and that is why she left the SBC. It was piggybacking off Beth Moore’s post, aka making it about HER. I just want to go on record saying I have NEVER stalked Lore or said anything threatening to her and this blog post was to tell my story. It is not a smear campaign.… Read more »

Candy
Candy
4 years ago

There is a red flag about her picking up her life and moving across the country (where she presumably doesn’t know a soul) only based off hearing a sermon that she claims changed her life. She wasn’t a true Christian until she heard Matt Chandler. That gives me an unsettled feeling. Either the story is exaggerated or she really made such a drastic move for a really confusing reason. No one asked any questions about that? It doesn’t come across like a heart warming story of taking a risk type of move and decision. Moving to follow a dream, venturing… Read more »

Christina
Christina
4 years ago

In regards to the comment above about “not sure I would like unproven facts posted about me on the internet”: Then Lore should have thought about that before she showed her true colors. She has had ample opportunity to apologize to me, and she has yet, til this day, offer an apology. Which should be quite surprising coming from Mrs. Gospel herself. Everything I have stated to Anna is true, whether or not people want to believe it. And TVC and Lore will answer to God about their actions not just toward me, but many others one day. The only… Read more »

Anon
Anon
4 years ago

I continue to read stories like this and my heart breaks, yet I experienced something similar. Not in a church setting, but a ministry organization setting. Emotional, spiritual abuse is rampant way too often. Attempts to reconcile were met with silence. The manipulation and the “GOSPEL” centered BS is prevalent in these stories. Thank you for giving a voice to people like Christina – I know I have found freedom in sharing my story with people and I hope she does too.

Anonymous there, Anonymous here
Anonymous there, Anonymous here
4 years ago

Amen. I was curious what you were going to write about with Lore, interesting thoughts. I had always wondered about her meteoric rise myself. My complaint with Lore wasn’t really with Lore herself, I don’t know her. Lore’s blog was eye-opening back when I read it. Lore would write about TVC and her experience was NOTHING like my own. As I recall (and it has been a while so maybe this is not remembered correctly), Lore wrote talking about the elders setting her up with her now husband, and how that was what others should do – she was against… Read more »