I have SO MANY posts I want to write!
Last week was just a WEEK for me. I found out that my father, who I never met, passed away, I watched my grandchildren while my son & daughter-in-law closed on their new home; then trick-or-treating with the grandgirls, Halloween party, new grandpug added to the family (he’s adorable)….and WHEW!!!
Then yesterday I read a post on Facebook by Amy Smith at Watchkeep about a pastor named Wes Feltner, who is currently the lead pastor at Berean Baptist Church in Lakeville, MN. Apparently Wes is the top candidate for the lead pastor position at First Baptist Church of Clarksville, TN. This video on YouTube features. Paul Batson, a member of the pastor search committee, providing some ‘leading’ background on their front-running candidate, Wes Feltner, after receiving some push back concerning Feltner’s past. I’ll pull out some of his comments first and lay them out in front of the truth of what really happened 17 years ago at First Southern Baptist Church in Evansville, IN.
“I want to tell you about a PASTOR who did some things in his younger days……it generally involved alcohol….in fact one time he and his buddies went out and got so drunk that one of his buddies died as a result. And this guy, he felt so responsible for what happened and was just overwhelmed with grief and of guilt…..And he did plenty of other things, like at age 22 he started dating this girl that was 16 years old. Her parents said, ‘She’s not old enough to get married, but he talked them into it, talked her into it, got married, and he left his wild ways and went on to become a great pastor……And the guy I’m talking about right now, that story, is not about our new candidate. It’s about a guy name Ruben Ross. He was the first pastor of First Baptist Church back in 1834….”
“But everyone of these guys, in the process of the pastor search, had someone say, ‘Whatever you do, don’t hire that guy……Lo and behold, there are some people with that same thing to say about this new guy, that this committee is about to bring you, Lord willing, as a candidate.”
“Turns out there are a handful of people that are opposed to this guy, that we’re talking about.”
“Of everyone that’s opposed, I’ve had the same question, that I’ve asked them, and that is, ‘Have you talked to him in the last 17 years? Have you had communication with him since then?’ and the consistent answer is, ‘No’.”
“There’s something in his past they’ve latched onto they say he’s unrepentant for….”
“When a bunch of people brought a sinner to Jesus and said, ‘Lets stone her, because she did wrong.’, what Jesus did, through a few steps, was thin the crowd down to the one person that needed to know of that sin, in such a way that they could repent.”
“It’s not about telling the crowd about the sin, it’s about telling the sinner about the sin.”
These Guys Just Don't Get It
I have to hand it to the communications department at FBC Clarksville. The spin doctor on staff was working overtime to draft this absolute masterpiece of blame-shifting, sin-leveling, victim-shaming bullhocky.
A story about a wayward pastor from 1834? Genius!
But seriously…here’s the deal folks – this joke of a speech was designed & delivered to hush Wes Feltner’s victims so that he could get voted in – period.
What Paul Batson has done here is try to create a narrative that allows for pastors to get a pass for ‘youthful indiscretions’. What he fails to address is the fact that youth pastors have tremendous influence and power over the youth they minister to, and when a youth pastor violates those sacred boundaries by pursuing a student for his own gratification, it is a crime. The youth pastor is disqualified from any form of ministry – permanently. Wes Feltner shouldn’t even be on a pastor search committee list. God doesn’t have a shortage of qualified pastors.
Additionally, it is never the responsibility of the victim to ‘make amends’ or seek out their abuser so that he can repent and ask for forgiveness. It is grossly traumatic that a sexual abuse victim would be chastised for not ‘having communication with him’ in the last 17 yrs, and then additionally shamed for bringing his crimes into the open.
Shame on you Paul Batson….shame on you!
Why the Fuss? (and who is wes Feltner?)
Wes’ bio on www.wesfeltner.org:
“Dr. Wesley L. Feltner finds his greatest joy in seeing lives transformed by the power of the gospel.
He and his wife have three children and currently reside in the South Metro of the Twin Cities in Minnesota, where he is Lead Pastor of Preaching and Vision at Berean Baptist Church. Dr. Feltner has served churches in Kentucky, North Carolina, Indiana, and Illinois in the areas of preaching, missions, discipleship, and family ministries.
Born in Tennessee to faithful Christian parents, Dr. Feltner earned his B.A. from the University of North Carolina at Charlotte, a M.Div in Theology, and a Ph.D. in Leadership from The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, KY. Dr. Feltner is an adjunct professor at Lancaster Bible College and Seminary and Capital Seminary and Graduate School, in Lancaster, PA; and The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, KY. He enjoys all kinds of sports, hunting and fishing, watching movies, playing guitar, and reading.”
There’s Something in His Past…
In 2002, Wes Feltner was a 24 year old youth pastor at First Southern Baptist Church in Evansville, IN. He abused two girls in the youth group – Megan & JoAnna, while he was in a relationship with now-wife Stephanie Todd.
Megan & Joanna have started a website and have told their stories at www.broughttothelight.org
Read Megan’s story here.
Read JoAnna’s story here.
What Wes Feltner did to these girls was clergy sexual abuse. He was a youth pastor in a power position, with the responsibility to maintain proper boundaries with those under his care 100 PERCENT of the time. At no time were Megan & JoAnna able to consent to a ‘relationship’ with Wes because of the power imbalance in the relationship. Unequal power=no consent, regardless of age.
There are laws in 13 states that criminalize sexual activity between clergy and congregants, regardless of age. These are the same laws that apply to doctors, therapists/psychiatrists, teachers.
When it was reported to church leadership that Wes had abused Megan & JoAnna, the church did what most churches do – cover it up & quiet the victims. Wes was allowed to move on to another church – Oak Park Baptist Church in Jeffersonvile, IN, but not without a warning from First Southern Baptist about Wes’ ‘indiscretions’. Oak Park Baptist, however, decided to ignore those warnings and hire him anyway. Wes Feltner has since moved up in the SBC. Click here to view his webpage: www.wesfeltner.org
Things Youth Pastors Shouldn't Do
- Invite students to their apartment and tell them to keep it a secret.
- Make bubble baths at their apartment for a student
- Allow a student to stay at their apartment until the wee hours of the morning
- Have sex with a student under their pastoral care & promise to marry her when she has a pregnancy scare
- Manipulate a student AND her parents into allowing you to take the student to LAS VEGAS to have sex with her and give her alcohol.
- Arrange a closed door meeting with a second student and tell her that God told you to pursue her
- Lie to the same student by telling her that church leadership approves of the ‘relationship’ as long as it’s kept a secret
- Sexually abuse two students simultaneously
I’m trying to understand how anyone can define this behavior as anything less than criminal and disqualifying? Wes Feltner is BEYOND disqualified from pastoral ministry.
Why These Were not Consensual Relationships
In this article on AdvocateWeb called ‘Why It’s Not an Affair‘, Patricia Liberty makes some excellent points concerning clergy sexual abuse:
“Oftentimes sexual contact between clergy and congregants is dismissed as an “affair” between “consenting adults”. This is a misnomer for several reasons. First, the relationship between a clergy person and his/her congregants is professional in nature. That means that clergy have a responsibility to use the special knowledge, skills and gifts of their call for the benefit of those they serve namely their congregants. It also means that clergy have a responsibility to establish healthy professional relationships. Because clergy carry moral and spiritual authority, as well as professional power it is ALWAYS their responsibility to maintain an appropriate professional boundary.”
It makes no difference whether Megan or JoAnna were 17 or 18 yrs old (age of consent) – the issue is that Wes Feltner was in a trusted pastoral/professional position that required him to maintain appropriate boundaries because of the professional nature of his position.
“Since clergy have a responsibility to set and maintain appropriate boundaries, those who are violated by clergy’s inappropriate sexual behavior are not to be blamed even if they initiated the contact. This is a difficult concept for many people to grasp. We want to blame the congregant (usually but not always a woman) for the sexually inappropriate behavior of the minister (usually but not always a man). As tempting as this may be, it is wrong because it is always the responsibility of the minister to maintain the integrity of the ministerial relationship.”
The victims carry no blame here. Even if the victims ‘pursued’ Wes, it was still 100% his responsibility to maintain proper boundaries.
“The focus needs to remain on the violation of the ministerial relationship…..The term “consenting adults” also reflects a misunderstanding of sexual behavior between clergy and congregants. It is assumed that because two people are adults that there is consent. In reality, consent is far more complex. In order for two people to give authentic consent to sexual activity there must be equal power. Clergy have more power because of the moral and spiritual authority of the office of pastor. In addition, education, community respect and public image add to the imbalance of power between a clergy person and a congregant.“
“When speaking of sexual contact between clergy and congregants, the term professional misconduct or sexual exploitation is more accurate. It keeps the emphasis on the professional relationship and the exploitative nature of sexual behavior rather than placing blame on the victim/survivor.”
“Holding clergy accountable with compassion and purpose and providing healing resources to churches and survivors is dependent on an accurate starting point. Only when we name the behavior accurately can we hope to have a healing outcome for all involved.”
The only appropriate outcome is for Wes Feltner to resign from ministry. He disqualified HIMSELF when he sexually abused two girls under his pastoral care. What he did to these girls was calculated, manipulative, predatory and criminal*. It is now time for Pastor Wes Feltner to answer for his crimes.
The SBC needs to answer for this NOW. Wes Feltner is teaching at SBC seminaries. Abuse advocates are DONE with platitudes and promises of change. We’ve still heard NOTHING from SBC leadership regarding Andy Savage’s return to ministry. #caringwell is looking more and more like a media/publicity stunt rather than a real catalyst for education, awareness & change.
According to the state of Indiana – Wes Feltner committed a crime – several, in fact.
According to RAINN’s website, these are the age consent laws for sexual assault in the state of Indiana. If the person has a position of authority or influence over the victim, age of consent is NOT a defense.
*current Indiana law now allows victims to fill out an online form to report clergy sexual abuse, however the statute of limitations for adults is 5 years.
When I Was A Simple Pew-Sitter
Back in 2002, our family was attending a new church split (I digress), and the youth pastor on staff at the time was a friend of ours. He and his wife were around our age, and also had young children like we did. We socialized with them regularly, and even went on a family vacation together. We believed he was a stand-up guy. In fact, he was a school teacher and would have been considered a pillar of the community.
But you don’t know what you don’t know…..
Our friends suddenly started having marital problems and resigned from their positions as ‘youth pastors’ at the church. All contact between us ceased and we didn’t know what was going on. Everything was hush-hush in the church and they quietly divorced and moved on. That was that.
Around that same time a teenage girl in the youth group was known to be pregnant. No one knew who the father was. She had the support of her family and the church, but the paternity of this child was a mysterious secret. We soon found out why…..from our pastor. Turns out the youth pastor was the father, but no one was openly admitting to it or holding him accountable. The whole situation was effectively being swept under the rug and we all went along with it. I didn’t know any better. I thought this was how theses types of things were handled in the church.
Fast forward 4 years-
The sweet little boy that this young girl gave birth to was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. He underwent many forms of treatment and his family established fundraisers for other cancer patients based on his journey of care. Luckily he survived, but still battles the effects of the tumor and it is not completely gone….but that is not the point of this story.
Our pastor told us in a weekly bible study-repeatedly-that he knew the youth pastor was the father of this child. He also told us that he believed this precious child was afflicted with a brain tumor because his parents conceived him out of wedlock AND because of the fact that the girl in the youth was sort of a ‘young temptress’ and the youth pastor was weak. Our pastor explained that since the boy was born out of an ‘unholy union’, so to speak, he was cursed with a brain tumor.
The pastor who said this is also the pastor who later went on to abuse me.
Again, I was naive’ and actually believed what this pastor told me. I believed a lot of of what this pastor told me. I trusted him too much. I’m afraid there are far too many pew-sitters that have little to no awareness about clergy sexual abuse and power dynamics. Wes Feltner’s supporters are probably comprised mostly of people who blindly trust their church leaders and also have no awareness concerning clergy sexual abuse.
As abuse advocates, our work must not simply be about exposure, but about education and awareness. I was once one of those people that would have probably supported someone like Wes Feltner. No one was educating me on boundaries, ethics, laws, power dynamics & clergy sexual abuse. If they had, I would have definitely listened.
These are some resources that I recommend for anyone wanting to know more about Clergy Sexual Abuse (CSA):
I came across this article from a google search. I went last year to Pastor Fletner’s new campus because -history aside- he is a good speaker. I do understand that years ago he was a distracted guy that tried dating too many girls at once. I admit that I had tried that myself and it wasn’t fun. Dating when we were that young was uncomfortable. No this isn’t a man defending another man for being young and dumb. Lessons learned. Lesson learned? What I saw when I attended those few times is maybe not. The relationship between him with the… Read more »
My husband and I have attended Berean Church for about five years, and I just read with much sorrow and disappointment about Wes Feltner and his betrayal of trust–to God, the precious young women under his pastoral care, the congregation he pledged to serve, and himself. He sinned against his own body and betrayed his own values and convictions. I am sad for him, the Bible says that such as he will be excluded from Heaven, without his heart-felt repentance. I am sad for myself, too, as his behavior is a betrayal of my trust, as a congregant. If Berean… Read more »
I can’t say that I understand where these girls are coming from when it comes to dating their pastor. What I can say is I’ve been in this situation where my married youth pastor pursued me for a period of about 4 or more months aggressively. He also waited until the day I was 18. I mean it’s like he had been waiting for years for that day. Even took me all the way to Indiana against my will and tried to make it a date. Took me to a restaurant and I refused to eat. Just sat there watching… Read more »
Well done, FBC CLARKSVILLE. This is what true church leadership looks like. We are waiting Berean.
https://youtu.be/1XarhVEJNwU
If we’re going to try and dissect events that took place over a decade and a half ago, I have some additional questions. These are not meant to shame the women in any way, but since they’ve made this public then I think it’s fair that the public have a fuller picture of the context. First question- Did Megan and JoAnna know Wes Feltner was in a leadership position when he asked them to date? Did their parents? Were any of the details around his leadership role concealed so that they did not know they were dating someone who had… Read more »
Just what every church needs, a pastor who “sleeps around “ with the youth or with women in the congregation. I’m a survivor of pastor sexual abuse. There’s something that these commentators haven’t done, they haven’t learned about predator pastors. Predator pastors groom and brainwash their targets into doing things they would otherwise deem horrific. I and both of these women never sought a relationship with our pastor, let alone sexual behavior. We sought counsel. A pastor then groomed and subtly led these women into abusive relationships. Pastors are called and charged to lead us and encourage us in Christ,… Read more »
Shari… those are EXACTLY my thoughts after reading both girls accounts and seeing photos. Also, his current wife knew he was dating the other two and she still married the guy! All involved were consenting adults. The ladies who brought up the story revealed that they both knew he was in a relationship yet still chose to date him. Yes, they admit they dated him. They admit they kept it a secret. They were okay “being the other woman”. That should be a jaw opener! He did not manipulate them. They knew what they were getting into full well and… Read more »
To be blunt: If the pastor is seducing teenage girls under his care because they’re wearing a skirt he has much bigger problems.
Nice victim blaming and shaming. No wonder so many never come forward. I get that your pastor is on a pedestal and all, but he is clearly disqualified from being a pastor according to the Bible. They were under his pastoral leadership in the youth group. They went to him for counseling. He told clever lies about his relationship status to girls and parents. Even now, his lawyer calls one of the girls with lies. The church back then quietly dismissed him. Everything he says now is classic abuser. Making it all about him, cleverly chosen words to deflect from… Read more »
Shari, if by dating you mean…. 1. Pick a girl in your youth group to groom 2. Take baths with her 3. Tell her and her family to keep secrets 4. Take her to “purity” events even though you’re having sexual intercourse with her 5. Take her to Vegas to drink, gamble and have more sex 6. Don’t tell your current girlfriend, Stephanie about it 7. When found out…. run away to a new church Sure, if that’s what you mean by “dating” and if that’s the kind of actions and behavior you condone in a youth Pastor then yeah….… Read more »
It’s really sad to see women of God place a man higher than the Word of God. Wes’ pastoral qualifications according to Scripture were diminished when he chose the path he did. That’s no ones fault but his own. He knew it then, he knows it now. And there is no higher name than the name of Jesus. Make sure you know the Word of God and what He says about pastoral qualifications before you blindly follow like sheep led astray. Praying for your eyes to be opened.
The term “consenting adults” is so out of place in this context. Feltner was a seminary graduate, ordained minister – this is not about some seedy tryst between two anonymous souls, The parents share blame, as does the senior pastor who failed to exercise discipline over Feltner. The imbalance of power is wholly relevant and the responsibility for establishing and maintaining boundaries was his and his alone. Photos show the women should have dressed more modestly but what pastor says so publicly? Nobody wants to touch that. If you don’t grow up to be modest, you don’t start later on.… Read more »
This is SO spot on. One correction though: the Indiana statute you cite regarding abuse only applies to ages 14-16. These ladies were 18. It was still horrific, but sadly, not a crime.
I was thinking one of the young women was 16-17 when he began abusing her? But if not, unfortunately not a crime. The state of Indiana needs more comprehensive laws regarding clergy abuse.
This is a simple witch hunt to defame Wes and bring him down. 18 is old enough to consent. Two people upset that he didnt marry them. I am so sick of people playing the victim role when they look back at their actions with regret. If he did date these woman what does it say about their character to get involved with someone who is already in a relationship? What kind of parents knowingly let their daughters go on a trip to Las Vegas? As a parent i have taught my kids to acknowledge what they do wrong not… Read more »
Shari-Youth Pastors do not date students in the youth group & have sex with them – that is pastoral sexual abuse. Age isn’t the issue, the imbalance of power that a pastor has over the people he has a sacred duty to shepherd & protect IS the issue. Wes Feltner pursued, manipulated, lied to & sexually abused two young women under his care AS A PASTOR. I hope you can come to a better understanding of clergy sexual abuse and stop defending a predator pastor that disqualified himself from ministry 17 yrs ago when he made the choice to abuse… Read more »
No, the problem is that his actions disqualified him from pastoral leadership, 17 years ago and still today. Salvation, Forgiveness, Grace, Mercy, Redemption is available to ALL who repent & accept Jesus. But Scripture is very clear about pastoral qualifications. Don’t make any man an idol to stand higher than the Word of God.
I agree with what you wrote here, it’s true, the teen girls and their parents made bad choices. However, reading this article made me realize the truth of one more important thing. He is the one who was in a position of leadership, not only to the two young women, but to many others. A man seeking this sort of career, needs to be above reproach, no matter who the tempter enthrallingnhim. This person is right to say, he lost his right to the career of choice. The church did make a mistake to cover for him, they should have… Read more »