I received this anonymous email from a survivor of sexual abuse (in an SBC church). I think it is a sobering and heart-wrenching account of how lives are forever altered by abuse at the hands of a trusted minister. I hope this letter gets circulated to every church, because people need to know what sexual abuse does to a person and how it alters the course of their life. It is not an ‘event’ that you get over, pray away, or that time can heal. Time does not heal these kind of soul wounds. I can only imagine how much different these victim’s lives would have been if their abuser had been held accountable.
Their plea is for their abuser to turn themselves in to authorities. They deserve justice.
An Open Letter to a Predator
It won’t matter if the general masses read this letter and wonder who it is to, and who it is from. All that matters is that YOU, the predator, read it. You will know it’s for you. We know what you did and how you did it.
There are many of us who have been waiting a very long time to address you. While law enforcement does their job, and we pray they do it well; they can not speak for those of us you have victimized.
You have hidden behind the church for a lifetime, leading thousands in worship, and guiding hundreds in ministry. There is no doubt that despite your evil, our sovereign God has used your works to help lead people to Him.
But ultimately, your evil is your undoing.
While you hid in plain sight, you hurt countless young boys. You stole their innocence and purity for your own cruel gain. You used your charisma and title to earn the trust of unsuspecting mothers and fathers, and most of all…boys who once looked up to you.
These same boys now loathe you. They deal every single day with the exhaustive and brutal aftermath of being sexually assaulted by you. Some of them are gay. Some of them are straight. Some are single and some are married. You performed the marriages of some of your victims; and even tried to stop a few. Some of these guys are still too young to understand the reality that you were grooming them for more.
ALL of them are desperate to be set free from what you did to them. Their families can’t make them better. Even their counselor’s best attempts in therapy can never take away or repair what’s been done. It’s just a part of their existence now.
We are all aware that predators like you do not change. They just “refine” their approach over the years, and get better and better at hiding their crimes. If there were no statute of limitations for what you did almost 50 years ago, you would already be in prison. But, the law is coming for what you did since then. You didn’t stop at just one, two…
A few of your misguided pastor friends have labeled this a “moral failure” or a “past sin.” This is not a question of a moral breakdown, and there is nothing “past” about this sin. This is a deep-rooted, longstanding sin, and a crime. This was never a one time thing. You’ve been abusing boys for years. You groom them and lure them. You groom your friends, your pastors, your own family and everyone else around you to be blind to it. In one known case, you taught your victim so well he began doing it to others. For those you abused who would never become like you, you’ve just created a world of deep darkness and confusion.
With how many boys did you use the words, “You’re my favorite. Don’t tell anyone!”? How many of them did you invite over to your house to “help” you for the day, or the many other places and ways we are all hearing about?
Someone close to you all these years said, “Of course he did this. He was always with the boys. He always had his hands on the boys!” We all just thought you were being a father figure of sorts.
Even your spouse has lied for you all these years, and is seeking grace and forgiveness for what you’ve done so your family can just move on. What about your victims? Are they just supposed to just move on?
Grace and forgiveness comes to those who are repentant, which you have never expressed. When you hurt a child, you deserve the consequences here on Earth and the judgment of the Lord.
To take it a step further, you have involved multiple churches in your plan, and even moreso, a handful of pastors. You worked hard to gain their loyalty over the years; and now, some of these men have committed great wrongs, and possibly even crimes, in covering for you. What may have started out as them protecting you in disbelief, took a hard turn into being complicit. While it is shocking, devastating and life-changing to learn this truth about you, the time is coming that all the secrets will be revealed and the evidence seen by all. For those who have known these truths and covered for you, sending you on to hurt someone else, justice is coming.
So, here’s the request: Turn yourself in now. If you are truly repentant for what you have done, confess to law enforcement. Take your punishment. It will be minor compared to the lifetime of wounds you have left on your victims.
In closing, we’ve heard that when speaking about this, you have said your own mother always told you, “Your sin has a way of catching up with you.”
It just did. Your victims are speaking out.
This breaks my heart. Thousands of people of been impacted by this evil. How can people continue to turn a blind eye or make excuses? The church is on fire and the leadership won’t call 911. Why do they continue to protect those who violate even the minimum of Biblical standards of an elder, not to mention the law!?
My GOD !!!! These poor boys. How brave this gentleman/survivor is.. The Perp has been leading worship, for 50 yrs, and abusing boys some so young they aren’t old enough to address and speak up about the abuse in the SBC.. damn u have me curious. And mad as hell
For the victims at the same time. If it’s on ur FB I will tag and have others share.